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Joke of the Day

"In 1839 an Arab man made the first condom The condom was made of goat intestines. In 1844, a British scientist revolutionized the condom by removing the intestines from the goat first"

"Why did the Police hurry over to the Black Lives Matter Riot? To beat the crowd!"

"What do ISIS and anime fans have in common? They both get hot and bothered over cartoons."

"I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70's music... At first I was afraid, oh I was petrified."

"Friend: What time is it? Me: (pulls out phone, checks Twitter and Facebook notifications, puts phone away) Friend: Well? Me: Well what?"

"Q: How do you make a Venetian blind? A: Stick a finger in his eye."

"Someone's deodorant is not working... And I know it's not me because I'm not wearing any."

"I'm not positive, but I think when you say you're ""over"" something, YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT."

"How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can see Mt Ranier it's going to rain. If not it already is."

"Mrs. Piggy Q. Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey? A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork."