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Joke of the Day

"Why do felines always win board games? Because they are cheetahs."

"Life's like a box of chocolates. If you're fat, it doesn't last long."

"I just read an article about the damage cigarettes can do to young children. The first thought that occurred to me was ""What the fuck happened to using ashtrays?!"""

"""Its a boy"", he shouted. ""It's a BOY! I still can't believe it! Tears rolling down his eyes, swearing never to come back to Thailand again."

"What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin."

" Metric dollar."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands."

"Why does Dr Pepper come in a can? Because his wife left him."

"Spiders are lucky. They can shoot magic ropes out of their butt & zip-line whenever they want to."

"I used to be a Banker But I lost interest"