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Joke of the Day

"Im starting to see the bright side of being single.. ..If I tip the bottle towards the ceiling, light shines right through the Vodka. Facinating"

"What's the difference between a fort and a fortress? A fortress has breastworks."

"What kind of phone does a burglar use? A no-key-a"

"What do politicians and sperm have in common? About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human."

"The key ingredients for a successful diet : Duct tape Rope Rat poison Shovel Bag of lime Alibi What?...wait. Wrong list."

"If you rearrange the letters in ""Vladimir Putin"" you get murdered."

"They say attractiveness is relative... my cousin seemed to disagree"

"Good News: Got rid of the skunk smell on the cat using hydrogen peroxide, dishsoap & baking soda Bad News: the cat now looks like Billy Idol"

"What did Trump say to the women who told him she could give him the worlds best Blow Job. What's in it for me?"

"""Dude, what's with the outfit?"" ""Bruh, I got a job as a bouncer"" *hops away in kangaroo costume*"