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Joke of the Day
"She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, we are both very unprepared for this cold weather"
Next Joke
"Marry a man who surrounds himself with good weather and can provide good weather for you and your children."
"Wife: morning Me: good morning Wife: my parents are coming over for dinner tonight Me [pouring bleach in my coffee]: uh huh that's great"
"I'd like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful. ""Sir, those are Band-Aids."" Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some."
"What do your internal organs call their dating life? Their homie-hoe-status"
"What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!"
"I read that a couple from New Jersey named their baby Adolf Hitler. They should be ashamed, New Jersey is no place to raise a kid."
"Some people are just meant for each other. A sadist married a masochist. The masochist would say, ""Beat me!""... The sadist would say, ""...no"""
"""Cleanliness is next to godliness."" - Store clerk helping a customer find the cleanliness."
"Why are there no midget accountants? They always come up short."