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Joke of the Day

"What is blue and lies by the seabed? Probably not a planned child."

"What's the difference between Vietnam and Iraq? George Bush had a plan for getting out of Vietnam."

"How many Buddhists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, change comes from within."

"I'm such a tightass when it comes to going to the proctologist. Gotta pay out the ass."

"Unexplainable things: 1) Stonehenge 2) ESP 3) How my car insurance company can magically lower my renewal cost when I threaten to leave them"

"I'm a Responsible Gun Owner. I did the right thing and got my gun neutered. Now it just fires blanks."

"How many virgins does take to change a lightbulb? Obviously more than 72, or all those suicide bomber would have seen the light."

"What do you call a 350 pound stripper? Broke"

"[At a One Direction concert] No, I'm not a...I SAID NO I'M NOT A BIG ONE DIRECTION FAN I JUST HATE MYSELF AND FEEL THE NEED TO SELF PUNISH"

"It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, He just didn't have the balls to do it."