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Joke of the Day

"I got a $400 ticket for playing pokemon GO in the car today. Most expensive in-app purchases EVER."

"Contagious Had my grandmother mow my lawn, it took that contagious."

"You're in your 20's... you don't have ""haters""... you have ""adults"" that think you are ""annoying"""

"What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their last big hits were The Wall."

"Why did the weather want privacy? -It was changing"

"to do list I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can't figure out who's going to do it"

"Strangers get so paranoid when they catch you stirring a mysterious powder into their drink."

"What's the difference between a bag of sugar and a dead baby? I don't use sugar in my signature cookies."

"I witnessed a kidnapping on the bus today... But don't worry, he woke up before his stop."

"Did you ever hear about the Mexican born with two wieners. He named them Jose and hose b"