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Joke of the Day
"I tried running once. But I kept spilling my beer."
Next Joke
"What do you call a cold hotdog? A cold-dog"
"911: What's your emergency? Me: Are you guys hiring? 911: This is an emergency line. Me: No shit. Why do you think I'm calling?"
"Fannee Doolee loves sleep, but she doesn't love bedtime. Why do you think that is? Because Fannee Doolee has crippling anxiety, and falling asleep reminds her of her inevitable death."
"What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap? I can clearly see ur nuts."
"It's great that every Playmate ""just wants a guy that makes them laugh"", because I want a chick with fake boobs that can't form a sentence."
"Policeman: How can you drive so recklessly? Driver: I have to this is a getaway car."
"What do condoms prevent? Minivans."
"Why is Dick short for Richard? Genetics, I guess"
"My wife is driving me to drink. I hope she remembers to pick me up when I'm done."