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Joke of the Day

"INTERVIEWER: According to your resume, you like to ""move it move it."" ME: That's correct. I: It goes on like for... 30 pages. M: And?"

"My boss just fired me because I spent the past 45 minutes taking a crap. I don't see why he can't just clean it off his desk, and move on."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? It's quite simple, really. You kick his sister in the jaw."

"The Gym is like Church. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they'll erase what they did during the week."

"What did the deaf, dumb, blind orphan get for Christmas? *Cancer!*"

"""Sobbing"" autocorrected to ""throbbing"" and now my attempt at showing my sensitive side has taken a very different direction."

"""Haha you flinched"" ""No crap, you almost hit me in the face!"""

"What did the Jew say to the homeless man? Could you spare some change?"

"We have a 9th planet and it's chill Netlixand chill... sorry idk"

"Lovers When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."