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Joke of the Day

"My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her. So I hit her over the head with my Xbox."

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"What did the little girl with no arms, no legs, blind, deaf and mute get for Christmas? NSFW Cancer"
"Time flies like an arrow.. Fruit flies like a bananna"
"TIP OF THE DAY: If you can't afford porn, just turn on tennis and shut your eyes."
"What kind of dog suffers most from being inbred? A hot dog"
"Do you want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in the mud. You wanna hear a clean joke? Jimmy had a bath with bubbles. You wanna hear another dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door."
"Nothing says, ""I have a lot of free time,"" more than someone eating a pomegranate."
"What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country"
"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to do it before it gets cool, and one to talk about how much better the old one used to be."
"How do you circumsize a blue whale? Four skindivers"