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Joke of the Day

"TIL the musical group Ace of Base was killed in a horrific traffic accident after they missed their exit on the highway and crashed... Police later said, ""they didn't see the sign..."""

"I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings, I'm a drunk, we go to parties."

"What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal? The one percent"

"A coworker just asked me if I was voted most likely to take a joke literally by my high school yearbook committee... That wasn't even a real superlative. I swear, this guy..."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after 3 ho's..."

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has got to *want* to change."

"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!"

"""Look guide here are some LION tracks."" ""Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they came from."""

"Went to type in build a bear and accidentally googled build a bar. Better idea, I know"

"""Do you want to hold my baby?"" Yeah nice try. You got yourself into this mess you hold your own damn baby."