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Joke of the Day

"A new movie based on the game Tetris is about to drop... ..so you better start lining up. (two for the price of one!)"

"I know I'll be a good father. I've had my iPhone for over 6 months now and I've only dropped it 182 times so far."

"What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip"

"Got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said ""You have the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."" I said ""Nah. You're just pulling my leg."""

"A boy bought some Tesco burgers from the canteen, The dinnerlady asked what he wanted on them. The boy replied: ""I'll have 5 each way!"""

"[NSFW] How do you tell if your Billy Idol fan girlfriend has a Three Stooges fetish? In the midnight hour she cried ""Moe! Moe! Moe!"""

"A three-legged dog walks into a bar. ""I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw"""

"Africans would remember this Ebola"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus You only need one nail for the picture"

"Why couldnt the NSA whistle blower leave russia? He was snowed in"