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Joke of the Day

"I know I'll be a good father. I've had my iPhone for over 6 months now and I've only dropped it 182 times so far."

"""This is where the magic happens."" - Harry Potter walking into his bedroom and every other room on MTV Cribs."

"Knock Knock? Who is there? Willis. Willis who? Willis d**k fit in your mouth?"

"Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House? So she can be pardoned."

"*Jesus sits down at the bar* ""The boss says we have to start charging you for water"""

"What is the difference between the Pope and acne? Acme doesn't come on to your face until after 13."

"On the phone to the chinese food place & my cat's all chatty... I cover the receiver and hiss ""Shhh, you want them to hear you?"""

"How many Anime characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it."

"Perfect pitch is... ...when you throw an accordion into a dumpster and it hits a banjo."

"Why did the strawberry cry? Because his mother was in a jam."