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Joke of the Day

"They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away Though if you don't go see your doctor regularly for checkups, you're bananas!"

"I just baptized a bale of hay and now I have a Christian Bale."

"Why did Donald Trump cross the road? To grab some pussy."

"My wife keeps on calling me ""gullible"" and ""financially irresponsible"". I just can't wait to see her face when I tell her I won the Nigerian lottery."

"I remember the last thing my grandfather ever said to me before he kicked the bucket... He said ""Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Did you hear that the guys from ""The Expendables"" are doing a movie about classical composers? Arnold Schwarzenegger has already signed up, and said ""I'll be Bach."""

"What does a terrorist in Antarctica say? Allahu Akburrrrrr"

"Pro tip: if you absolutely must speak in court, do not put air quotes around ""the law"". Judges don't like it."

"Why are hurricanes named after girls. Because there not himicanes"

"I overheard someone say all Asians are ninjas. I would've told him how racist that sounded but he was black and I didn't want to get mugged."