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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather once told me, ""Your generation is too reliant on technology."" So I replied, ""No, *your* generation is too reliant on technology!"" Then I disconnected his life support."

"When I was getting my prostate exam, I asked the Doctor where I should put my pants.. ""Over there, beside mine"" wasn't the answer I was expecting."

"What do deviant nuns have? Big bad habits."

"Of course Goldman Sachs called their clients ""muppets"" Some of them ended up living in garbage cans."

"A bodybuilder asks a doctor for a pill that will enhance his muscles and increase the size of his penis and tan his skin Here, I'll prescribe you some testostyrone"

"One of my co-workers just called the elevator a ""vator"". Anyways, long story short, this is my one phone call..."

"The past, the present, and the future got into a fight It was tense"

"What do you call a teacher who's always late? Mr. Buss"

"'Cracker' is racist. They should be called Crispy Baked Squares."

"Alcohol is like Lysol for feelings, it won't kill all of them."