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Joke of the Day

"I started cheating on my wife for better BDSM Whoops, wrong sub."

"How do you get down from an elephant? You don't. You get down from a goose."

"What do you call a stampede of mexicans running away from a snake? **Hiss**-panic"

"I just got this twitter error: ""The server understood your request but is refusing to fill it."" Apparently, twitter thinks we're married."

"Did you hear about the guy who was convicted for committing lewd acts on fruit at a grocery store? (Mildly NSFW) He got off on a peel."

"What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex? Honey, I'm home!"

"China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you're a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you."

"I forgot to wear my Halloween costume to work. I was gonna go as the Invisible Deaf Mute Man."

"My wife heard it's seductive to bite her lip... I don't have the heart to tell her it's meant to be the bottom one."

"What type of cheese can you see in a mirror? Halloumi! (Hello me)"