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Joke of the Day

"What did Kendrick Lamar say when Rihanna tried to unplug his VR headset? Bitch, don't kill my Vive."

"How do you keep men on their toes? Raise the urinals"

"Two birds are sitting on a perch... The first one says, ""Hey... do you smell fish?"""

"What's the difference between Andrew Dice Clay and a nintendo cartridge? The nintendo cartridge has steadily gotten more blowjobs since the 80s."

"What do call the President of Russia with an upset stomach? Vladimir Poopin"

"If farting under the covers is a Dutch oven... is doing it in the shower a German oven?"

"So a UKIP Councillor says God... is punishing the UK with floods cos of the gays. If my sex life effected the weather so much, why aren't we going through a long long dry spell?"

"Just been banned from my church's Easter service. Apparently the first words Jesus spoke after emerging from his tomb weren't ""Ta-Daa!"""

"What value is higher than infinity? Infinity plus 1. I'm sorry."

"What do you call a pile of kittens? A Meowntain"