130554

Joke of the Day

"I mean, if Marie Antoinette didn't want her head cut off, maybe there should've been actual cake. ~ Why I was kicked off the debate team"

Next Joke
 
"Nurse: You need to eat or you can't have your pain meds. Me: Do the thing. Nurse: Me: Nurse: *holding fork* [sigh]*makes airplane noise*"
"Where do men have the most curly hair? In Africa"
"Today I found out I have dyslexia... I went to a toga party dressed as a goat."
"I've lost more friends to Candy Crush than Crystal Meth."
"My doctor said I can't lift more than ten pounds... Can you help me pee?"
"My neighbor just just had a baby boy born with no eyelids. When they did the circumcision they used the skin to make him some eyelids. He's doing great, just a little cockeyed."
"What do you call a cow stuck in a hurricane? A milkshake."
"What do you get from a Hebrew genie? A coupon for 10% off three Jewishes"
"Top Seven Things Men Don't See Coming: 7. Plot twists 6. Police cruiser 5. Love 4. Trash day 3. Health issues 2. Her reaction 1. That"