130523

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch? A seizure salad."

"I blame my parents subscription to National Geographic when I was a kid for my preference for black women."

"For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years."

"I like playing with my dog when I'm high. Because I don't have one when I'm sober."

"What's the difference between having sex while skydiving and a smelly vagina? Well, one's a kinky stunt..."

"How do you catch a unique cat? Unique up on it"

"Pain Pills? You mean bitch mints? **^^flexes**"

"Gave my cat some organic soy milk and now she wears two pairs of tiny Toms."

"KING SOLOMON: I shall cut it in two, half for each of you. WOMAN: sure ME: OH GOD NO! KING SOLOMON: ok this is clearly your meatball sub."

"[Job Interview] ""It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17 X 19?"" ""36"" ""That's not even close"" ""But it was quick"""