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Joke of the Day

"Politicians are like sperm And often I find myself asking ""How did this one win?"""

"It's going to be so good when I finally make a tweet that lampoons society so much that everyone just changes their ways and smartens up."

"When I was a kid... 'Too cool for school' meant the boiler had broken and we were all sent home."

"If you ever see me wearing anything fur lined or faux fur, please punch the person I'm with in the face. I've been kidnapped & need saved!!"

"Why do electricians wear pants? Because they hate shorts."

"""Musically,I was inspired by the fax machine."" - Nicki Minaj"

"""C'mon, your relationship isn't *that* serious."" - Las Vegas"

"Why are pedophiles safe drivers? They always slow down in front of kindergartens and schools!"

"I am born to mixed-race parents ...but my mom preferred the 100 metres."

"How does a Muslim close a door? Islams It."