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Joke of the Day

"I hate spelling errors. I mean, one simple mistake and your entire post is urined."

"Just caught a glimpse of myself naked - Apologies in advance to my coroner"

"What's the best thing a Star Wars fan would like to find in his garden? Princess Leia with her tits out"

"I love it when all my iPhone apps tremble in fear when I'm about to delete one of them. Makes me feel like God."

"Why don't girls count to two? Because they ""can't even."""

"*Filling out application* Sex: ""no thanks"" Well maybe I should write yes... I really need this job. You know what? Yeah sure I'll take sex."

"On one hand, I'm intrigued by witchcraft. On the other hand, it seems like it involves a lot of chopping and cooking."

"Damn, i got hit with the ""we need to talk"" from my wife. Thank God it was just about divorce. I was scared shitless it was an intervention."

"FACEBOOK: Hey, remember me? I'm a girl you met in college, in that one class. We never really talked. Anyway, here's 97 pictures of my baby."

"So there was this surfer dude called Curl, but he died in a tsunami wave RIP Curl"