130363

Joke of the Day

"If I was a real superhero I'd be Constipation Man. And stop shit from happening."

"Spez tells us that we should take our time to vote today, because it ""matters""... That's the fucking joke."

"Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ? Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !"

"Why did Daniel LaRusso suffer from sexual frustration? He wouldn't whacks off"

"Going to Forest Whitaker's house, but I can't tell if it's the one on the right or the left."

"If someone writes you a long email that ends with ""Thoughts?"" just reply ""Nope."""

"At school, I saw my principal walking around in a daze. I asked him whathappened, and he just looked at me and said, ""I've lost my faculties!"""

"What do you call a professional tennis player that keeps serving out? Novak Chokeovic"

"Good friends are hard to find. Especially if they stabbed me in the back. In fact you won't find them officer. Stop looking"

"3 guys just arrived to heaven and... 3 guys just arrived to heaven and then Jesus proceeds to call by their names: - ""Rand"" kiss my hand! - ""Pete"" kiss my feet! Then Jesus: Rick!? Why are you running?"