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Joke of the Day

"Spez tells us that we should take our time to vote today, because it ""matters""... That's the fucking joke."

"Which of the Himalayas is the shortest?"

"So A flat walks into a bar . . . And the bartender looks up and says, ""G you're looking sharp."""

"How many defensive coordinators does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. You can't fit a hairless ten-year-old inside a light bulb."

"If you were a tree you'd be a bonsai, and if you were mine you'd be dead by now."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cork ! Cork who ? Cork and beans !"

"UGH, I was planning this big romantic dinner for two and then my wife called to say she'd be home."

"I set up a trap to catch the tooth fairy but she caught on and placed my parents in the trap instead. what a tricky fairy. PS. i want my $1!"

"What does a Native American Biologist live in? ATP"

"A joke about babies and cocaine What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!"