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Joke of the Day

"If you are what you eat... *Well then you are an asshole* *A lot of you are pussies* *And some of you are cats* *A few of you are dogs* *And I'm a penny...*"

"I've only had one car accident in the last month. It was a hit and run, so technically it doesn't even count."

"What do you call an Asian pornstar? Wun-Hung-Lo"

"I'm not a big fan of loud music I guess its just not my forte"

"*sees a truck* Nice. *sees a trucker* Oh, impressive. *sees a truckest* Ah yes. This is what I came for."

"""the names bond, james bond"" [5 min later] STARBUCKS BARISTA: i gota frappe for borbjorbple"

"What do you call a confused Asian? Disoriental."

"2 nuns are riding their bikes to church As they're riding, one nun says to the other ""I've never come this way before"". The other nun turns to her and says ""It's the cobblestone""."

"""Stop peopling around"" - horses?"

"Mom said angels are watching over me I'm just afraid they're taking notes to make sure I go to hell."