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Joke of the Day
"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates. They'll kill your dog."
Next Joke
"The police came to my door to tell me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. The fuck they are, I said. My dogs don't even have bikes."
"Do know who the ultimate CrossFitter was? Jesus."
"thought about a giraffe accidentally getting it's own long neck in a knot and i jus started cryin"
"I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn't reach very far."
"What do cows like to line dance to ? Any kind of moosic you like !"
"'Mum' yelled Johnny from the kitchen 'you know that dish you were always worried that I would break ?' 'Yes dear what about it ?' 'Well your worries are over.'"
"I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn't understand. I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight."
"""Try it, it's so good!"" ""Come on, man. Just a taste."" ""I'm having some. Mmmm."" ""Trust me."" Feeding my 2yo makes me feel like a drug dealer."
"Who built the round table? Sir Cumference"