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Joke of the Day

"My mate went for a penis enlargement yesterday. Apparently it's now a foot. Worst plastic surgeon ever..."

"From my handwriting identification skills. I have carefully deduced that Santa is my secret Valentine every year."

"What's the capital of Zimbabwe? Hyper-inflated."

"How is your job and your wife different? I don't mind telling work the other jobs I've done"

"Facebook: ""Hey why are you making dumb jokes?! Some of us are praying over here!"" Me: *backs away slowly* [My Twitter origin story]"

"Why did the student act crazy each time he worked on math homework? He was on crystal math."

"What shape is your hair in the morning? A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)"

"Do white boys with dreadlocks know about Garnier Fructis?"

"BEST YOUR MUM JOKE Knock Knock Whos there? Your mum Your mum who? Your mum is a greedy mogul ;) ahahaha im so funny m8"

"A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m. ...and his wife is livid. ""You SWORE that you'd be home by 11:45!"" ""No,"" slurs the mathematician... ""I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."""