130040

Joke of the Day

"Why can't siamese twins be trusted to render fair judgments? Because they're always partial. I'm so sorry."

"My cat Minton just swallowed a shuttle cock. Bad Minton."

"This guy called me ""mindless"". I didn't think much of it."

"What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert? Joint custardy"

"What do you call a dwarf without a mouth? Short for words."

"Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he got his gas bill."

"Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray."

"PSA: If you have kids, do not label the box of your ...ahem.. special items ""Toys"". It's very awkward to explain."

"Just got an email from a necrophiliac wishing me dead. Hey, thanks for the compliment!"

"I wonder if blackbirds ever watch reruns of 'That's So Raven' and go all, ""gurl please."""