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Joke of the Day

"A sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse a man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears... Personally I think its nuts."

"my gang colors are taupe and beige"

"What's the difference between Michael j. Fox and an earthquake? Earthquakes stop shaking"

"Why do u wanna work at Burger King? *imagines killing the Burger King & taking my rightful place as king* ""I haven't taken my meds in weeks"""

"What's the difference between handguns and feminists? A handgun only has one trigger."

"The question is not what am I doing in your house, the question is why are you home from work early?"

"Good cop: you two could go away for six years each for this Add cop: for a total of twelve years between you"

"In response to being asked if I had a good weekend: Days off are like blowjobs -- even the bad ones are good."

"to the scum photoshopping bandanas on my wedding photos, STOP. my wife has a bad memory & is in tears, she thinks she married a bandana guy"

"What do we want? Race-car noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeeoooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww!"