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Joke of the Day

"My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, ""Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."" I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter."

"For once in my life, I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis."

"A guy goes to the doctor Doctor: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating. Guy: Really, doc?! Like, forever? Doctor: No, just for a few minutes, so I can examine you."

"yo mama is Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids."

"Who called it confronting ur husband Stanley about flirty texts from a girl named Rebecca from a former soviet state and not Who'sbeckystan?"

"I think my girlfriend has had 61 lovers before me... Because she calls me her sixty second lover"

"What was one thing Nicholas the 2nd of Russia not good at? Czarcasm."

"How to tell someone they have a bad breath nicely ? ""Oh boy I am bored lets brush our teeth"""

"An ex-military veterinarian who specializes in animals wounded in war... is a Vet Vet for Vet Pets"

"Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans."