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Joke of the Day

"I spent the day in nature and by nature I mean drinking beer on a golf course. I saw a butterfly."

"Kids, rap music has been around since 1979, we've all heard it. You aren't being edgy by playing it loudly at an intersection."

"I had an issue with my XBone suddenly breaking & emitting smoke... I wasn't too disappointed that my XBone crashed and burned but I couldn't stand the fact that the smoke was even in low-res"

"*At the Carnival* Me: How much for the petting zoo? Person: What? *Drunk at Walmart by the dressing rooms*"

"What do four out of five guys love to do? Gang-rape."

"I still remember the last thing my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket ""Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Little Tommy took a drink But he will drink no more. For what he thought was H2O Was H2SO4"

"How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? When your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots."

"Me: Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know. Waiter: I asked if you were dining alone. Me: Oh, sorry. Yes."

"My girlfriend and I are celebrating our anniversary tonight by breaking up six years ago."