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Joke of the Day

"What does Batman take with his drinks? Just ice"

"How to piss me off: rearrange the grocery store. How to send me into a psychotic rage: rearrange the liquor store."

"9 years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"I only like 70 things.. One is alcohol. Another is 69."

"Why was the panda crying? He had a bambooboo. Aonther one from my 9 year old."

"Common dialogue in SITCOMs When a guy proposes, the female responds ""thank you""... Seen this in Friends, two and half men and the big bang theory... If its there in HIMYM.. PLS LET ME KNOW..."

"Why are all these prostitutes advertising? And what the hell is an egg cunt anyway? [OC]"

"I really hate to get religious on here, but have you seen the thigh gap on Jesus. DAYUM!"

"What's the difference between a tuna, a piano and a gluestick? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"I don't want to die a virgin... ... it would really confuse my kids."