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Joke of the Day

"Q: What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets? A: The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off."

"If I had 3 wishes I'd spend them on my daughter. Happiness, success and her very own little shithead who refuses to replace the TP roll."

"When Jesus comes back, how will they discover if he's Jesus or Robot Jesus? by giving him the shroud of turing test."

"My husband just got to level three on netflix: ""faking an illness"" to finish binge watching I'm on level 6: ""faking your own abduction"""

"How do you make a hormone? Pay well, and give her the best time you can."

"I don't get why I'm supposed to like someone who's different in the streets and in the sheets sounds duplicitous just be a freak everywhere."

"Why do chicken coops have only two doors? If they had four doors they would be chicken sedans."

"If a woman is in the woods, with no male around Will she still complain?"

"Mr Circle went to go see a doctor after being stabbed... The doctor said his blood loss was very sphere"

"What's pink has five toes and is carried by the Easter Bunny? His lucky people's foot!"