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Joke of the Day

"Q: What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets? A: The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off."

"What do you do when you want to hold a bunny? You grabbit."

"Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ? Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !"

"Alcohol is like Lysol for feelings, it won't kill all of them."

"What did one orphan say to another? Robin, get in the Batmobile."

"I got stopped by a woman in the street today. She said, ""Excuse me, sir, have you had an accident in the last three years that wasn't your fault?"" I said, ""Yes, she's nearly 2 now."""

"I was wondering why everyone at school was forming small groups... ...and then it cliqued! I'll show myself out."

"[baby is bouncing in swing seat] I I wish I had one of those. HER DAD They bring great joy. I (to self) Oh, he thinks I mean a baby."

"What's the cheapest concert you can go to? 50 cent feat. Nickelback."

"If Bob The Builder's slogan is ""Can he fix it?"" then he's not really a builder is he? More of a repairman."