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Joke of the Day

"I was staring at a fish. Suddenly, it started laughing ...It was probably because of my aqueous humor"

"What does a Mexican say when a house falls on them. Get off me homes."

"I heard girls like guys that are mysterious so I just put a fog machine under my bed"

"Record for the world's smallest penis? Must be hard to beat."

"Surround yourself with people that can't handle their alcohol, so you can drink theirs after they pass out."

"If I had a penny for every Trump joke made during the election... I could be the president in 2020"

"What did the LGBT art teacher tell the kids to use when their projects needed glue ? (wait for it ... wait for it ...) brucilage !!!!!!!!"

"I return to work tomorrow with a child-like belief that 2017 is the year people will think at least twice before hitting Reply All."

"Sometimes I get really stoned and stare at phone and wonder why I pay so much money for a government tracking device."

"This one time, I went to prison, but I got out without a scratch- I beat off all the other prisoners"