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Joke of the Day

"My Dr. just diagnosed me as 'paranoid'! Well, she didn't say that, but I know the bitch was thinking it!"

"Why do squirrels have bushy tails? To keep their nuts warm."

"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman"

"What's the difference between Obama and god? God doesn't think he's Obama."

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who always lose their train of thought"

"How do you make a dog drink? Just throw it in the blender."

"I like my women like I like my cold meats In-bread"

"Q: Whats the difference between purple and pink? A: The grip."

"My friend went into a sudden trance where she imagined she was stuck in a Pistachio. I told her to snap out of it. -She couldn't.-"

"You know why people insisted on calling the Higgs Boson for ""the God particle""? Because since the Higgs Boson gives mass to tiny particles, they imagined that it had to be a tiny priest."