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Joke of the Day

"I rather have a bottle of soda for President than Donald Trump. This way, we could truly have a Liter of the Free World."

"How many dragon Ball z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but it'll take at least 6 episodes!"

"Why do farts smell? So the deaf can enjoy them."

"Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell."

"Why doesn't the NAACP do anything about how shitty black jelly beans are?"

"Confuse the cable guy when he finally shows up at your house by telling him he'll have to wait outside until your favorite TV show is over."

"What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? Bingo!"

"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk"

"If somebody at a party tells you they're a writer, get excited, hold up the nearest book, and ask, wide-eyed, ""DID YOU WRITE THIS?"""

"How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cause it's definitely not 4. My basement is still dark & I'm running out of room."