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Joke of the Day

"I had a harder childhood than most. My parents didn't send me to a therapist, they sent me to a theanalrapist."

"My wife said she wanted to have sex in the backseat of the car and she wanted me to drive -The late Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004)"

"who is better boy or girl Girl: ""Girls are better than boys."" Boy: ""Then why did God make boys first?"" Girl: ""Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."""

"I went to an 'Army Style training day'... I don't feel any fitter but my boots and bed look immaculate."

"Where do men with erectile dysfunction go to find a job? Ubisoft"

"Since the world is doing reposts. ""Knock knock"" you: ""Who's there?"" me: ""hoo"" you: ""Who's hoo?"" me: ""What're you, an owl?"""

"My wife said that my 5 year old gets really hyper because of the sugar he has at breakfast so I think I'll stop putting it in his coffee."

"'Mum there's a man at the door collecting for the Old Folk's Home. Shall I give him Grandma ?'"

"When I was a little kid, I asked the waitress for a quickie My mom had to tell me, ""It's pronounced quiche'."""

"My autobiography will be a single piece of paper that says 'Ugh'"