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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she wanted to have sex in the backseat of the car and she wanted me to drive -The late Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004)"

"How can you tell the difference between normal and self-raising flour? One has parents"

"My brother and I started a business manufacturing Dracula toys I have to make every second Count"

"I'm not sure what I did wrong but the pile of LEGOs left on the bath mat while I was in the shower seems like some kind of threat."

"I was so poor as a kid, we only had Onepac Shakur."

"What do you call a tractor trailer that can't keep up with the others? (Self) Semi retarded."

"What do you call a government official that can't leave an airport because of a blizzard? Edward Snowed In"

"People should be able to spell arbitrary however the hell they want to."

"What do you call spaghetti pretending to be rigatoni? An impasta"

"No matter what sexual role play idea my wife decides on, I always have to play the same character... The husband that's out of town."