129127

Joke of the Day

"How many black people does it take to start a riot? One less than before"

"What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out"

"You god damn morons. All these celebrity nudes were leaked by the Illuminati to distract us from important shit like karate and hoverboards."

"If you're unattractive, nobody wants to know that you're horny."

"No thanks CVS, I don't need a bag. I'll just wrap up my purchase in the 12 foot receipt you just gave me."

"What's your favorite tasteless 9-11 joke? Here's mine. Knock knock. Who's there? 911. 911 who? You said you'd never forget"

"Does North Korea remember what happened the last time a country attacked Hawaii?"

"My son has developed orange and white stripes on his body... Doctors have put him on a course of nemotherapy."

"Why do hipsters drink coffee so quickly? They want to finish before it's cool."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? Oscillate his tits a lot."