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Joke of the Day

"What's the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they're not going to joust?"

"I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat."

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."

"One day I bet bullets will be replaced by flowers, and guns will probably be replaced by something that fires flowers with deadly force."

"Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was assaulted."

"So I wrote a Musical It was about a tragic coal mining operation ,unfortunately, the cave collapsed and the workers inside were killed. I decided to write it in A flat minor."

"Dad owl: I'm dying so I need you to look after things. I'm going to give you- Son owl: Don't say it Dad: Power of a tawny Son: [turns head]"

"Two flies are eating on crap. One of the flies farts, to which the second fly replies "" Do you mind ? I'm eating here !!"""

"only joke i ever made up.. What did the papa pear tree say to his effeminate male son? GROW A PAIR!"

"I recently found out my blood type is A+ However, in my tests I only get B or less. Doesn't success run in my blood?"