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Joke of the Day
"""Honey, we're out of bootleg DVDs, and Samurai swords."" - Flea Market attendees."
Next Joke
"""Bitches always be conforming to unhealthy standards set and perpetuated by the media."" - socially conscious rapper"
"I miss the things we shared together. Not the chlamydia but the rest of the stuff was cool."
"Do you want to have a home? You need a ho and you need me"
"Rick Astley asked for my Disney films the other day. I said, you can have Cars and Toy Story, but I'm never gonna give you Up."
"911: what is your emergency? Me: HE READ BUT DIDN'T REPLY"
"Besides those glaring flaws that I choose to ignore, I don't know what's wrong with me."
"DATING TIP: On a bad dinner date? Bite your tongue until your mouth fills with blood, say ""I must be allergic to this bread"" and then leave."
"Why didn't British explorers dig latrines? They had pith helmets."
"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns but I soon realized that toucan play at that game."