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Joke of the Day

"There was a blackout last night... Don't worry, I got him."

"I called my friend in North Korea and asked how he was. He said he couldn't complain."

"I'm confused... square box, round pizza but triangle slices."

"This is your captain speaking... **AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING!**"

"Lazy Dad I was shopping in Tesco with my Daughter earlier & she turned around and said ""Your such a lazy bastard dad"" I was so shocked I nearly fell out the trolley!"

"""You're so cold, I wished you would just disappear!"" His temperature then dropped to 0 Kelvin and he disappeared"

"Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint."

"I don't like holocaust jokes ...because my grandpa died in the holocaust. He fell off a guard tower."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alma ! Alma who ? Alma-nack !"

"how do you make a dog go meow Put it in the freezer then overnight then cut it in half with the chainsaw in the morning ""Mmmmeeeeeooowwwww"""