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Joke of the Day

"I don't like holocaust jokes ...because my grandpa died in the holocaust. He fell off a guard tower."

"What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass."

"How do you clear out an Iraqi bingo parlour? Call out ""B-52"""

"Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can jump"

"Found an expired condom. Oh well, still ate it anyway. Hope I don't get sick!"

"I always eat at McDonald's when they do the Monopoly pieces. 1 in 4 wins obesity."

"I feel like a 100 bucks. Yeah, that bad."

"2-year-old: *points to my belly* Baby! Me: Yep, there's a baby in there! Will you love it? 2: I eat it. Well that escalated quickly."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? You'd think it was some really obscure number, but it's just one, ironically."

"Q: How do you make any watch a stopwatch? A: Don't wind it."