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Joke of the Day
"I keep getting claustrophobic in elevators. I've been taking steps to avoid it."
Next Joke
"Never borrow money from a zombie: they almost always want to be paid back in brains"
"Donald Trump's Executive Plan for the next 4 years. 1. Make America Great Again 2. ? 3. Profit"
"That awkward moment when the garbage goes out more than you."
"Did you hear about Trump's import tax assessment? It's tariff-eyeing"
"What do anniversaries, toilets and the clitoris have in common? According to women, men usually miss all three."
"So, two muffins are sitting in an oven.... So two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other, ""Man, its hot in here."" The other muffin replied, ""OH MY GOSH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"""
"[i start thinking about an imminent problem] Hmm this is unpleasant. I better address this situation by not thinking about it anymore"
"Life takes you where you are meant to be. Apparently I am meant to be poor with a ton of education and experience."
"I came up with a joke about my old cell phone Nevermind, it tends to get terrible reception"