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Joke of the Day

"What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ? An elephant holding its breath !"

"So I woke up to find that someone had stolen my assignment for my communications class... I was speechless..."

"What do French labor reforms and French citizens have in common? They'll never work."

"I'm 0 for 3 in getting people to try a spoonful of my homemade peach jam on the subway platform this morning. Some days are challenging!"

"A vagina is like a warm toilet seat on a cold day It's nice, but you can't help but wonder who was there before you."

"I've decided my tweets sound better when I say them so instead of tweeting I'm just gonna call all of you when I think of stuff."

"Did you hear the one about the gay midget? He went up on a guy."

"When I was little I didn't mind my mom feeding me, the only food I refused to allow her to feed me was Alpha-Bits... I just didn't want anyone putting words in my mouth..."

"I am fairly certain that ""YOLO"" is ""Carpe Diem"" for stupid people."

"My wife said she was feeling Light-Headed from a Low Iron Level... So to help her, I raised the Ironing Board to a more Suitable Height..."