49830

Joke of the Day

"There's been a lot of scammers claiming they're from the electric company calling to get payments from overdue bills... They're getting pretty crafty- they even turned off my electricity."

"I'm starting a Kickstarter to bring a lion from Africa and let it loose in a dentist's office."

"I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time."

"You wanna know what sucks about being single? Nothing. You gotta use your hands now."

"Some people were offended by Trump's remark that Hillary Clinton was ""schlonged"" by Obama during the 2008 Democratic primary! No this is the Donald's normal everyday shtump speech!"

"There are only two types of people I hate in this world... Racists and black people."

"Two antennas got married The wedding wasn't great but the reception was amazing!"

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs. Please, do not let Kevin Bacon die. Source: The Bluegrass Grill and Bakery in Charlottesville, VA."

"How can you identify a French Infantryman? Sunburned armpits."

"Why did the cat sleep under the car ? Because she wanted to wake up oily !"