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Joke of the Day

"Thanks to the internet I know the actual medical terms for all the ailments that I'm positive I'm dying from."

"The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word ""facial"" is used."

"""Doctor: Put the IV in. Nurse: The 4 what?"" - chronic problem in Roman emergency rooms"

"Relationships are like houseplants, if they're mine they die"

"Gonna start feeding my dog condoms, so when she poops they're already in tiny little bags!"

"Where does the king keep his penis? In his deskis."

"Why did the cowboy get a dachshunds? Because once someone told him to get a long little doggie."

"What do you call a conversation with your professor when you are blown? I guess you would call it a high-class conversation."

"What is a pedophile's favorite shoe? White Vans."

"Your computer science teaching momma is so fat... ... she can flatten a binary tree in O(1)."