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Joke of the Day

"I broke my can opener.... .... I guess it was a can't opener. Source: happened when I tried to open a can of soup this morning."

"What does a gay horse eat? Haaayyyy"

"I saw an old man being beaten up by a two men in masks. I decided to help... We beat the crap out of him."

"Just LMAO and spent 6 hours in surgery getting it reattached. It's not funny."

"What do you call two gay Irishmen? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald"

"Mispronouncing words is kind of my forty"

"I broke up with my girlfriend today Now I need to buy that movie again!"

"The person who invented the word fuck was probably tapped on the shoulder while they had headphones on."

"How is God just like a regular man? If you're not on your knees, he's not interested and you know what they say, abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers."

"The greatest joke of all: Your sex life."