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Joke of the Day

"If you send her a message and she doesn't reply in six months she is probably thinking about it"

"Back in the day, I took $5 to the store and came out with.. 3 bags of chips, a pack of snickers, 2 bottles of coke, a newspaper and a bottle of whisky. And today? CCTVs everywhere!"

"I just tried out the Samsung Gear-VR with my Note 7. It was mind-blowing."

"*guy collapses* ICE CREAM MAN: does anyone know CPR DOCTOR:*looks at ice cream cones in both his hands, looks up, then slowly walks away*"

"They say the black community isn't to fond of gay marriage... maybe its for the best.. I mean... who needs two dead beat fathers?"

"What do Bristol Palin and Iraq have in common? It's just so hard to pull out."

"My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkeys. I thought she was kidding... ...and then I saw her face."

"What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife? Engage."

"This one time in high school I was called to the front of the class while I had hardest boner I ever had. It was the only time I thanked God for giving me a micro penis."

"Pregnant Eskimo What did the eskimo say when her water broke? Oh no, my ice cracked!"