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Joke of the Day

"An exhibitionist is discussing retirement with his wife. But after talking it out he decides, ""Actually, I think I'll stick it out one more year."""

"I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley. After months of therapy I'm finally battling my Damons."

"Why sharks are afraid to borrow money from other sharks! Because they are not just sharks, they are loan sharks!"

"Jill: How did you find the weather on your vacation? Bill: I just went outside and there it was!"

"""Hey mom can Kyle come over?"" mom: Kyle from your school or Kyle who is really bad at finishing other people's- [From outside] LOOFAS!"

"I'm a strict vegetarian. After I kill a cow I don't eat ANY of it."

"Saw two construction workers laughing today... I know what they were really building, friendship"

"How crazy is it that we used to say ""three and a half inch floppy"" with a straight face"

"too Hairy I went to town to see MS. Lucy, I'll give her two cents to see her pussy. The hair was so black I couldn't see her crack, so I asked for my two cents back"

"The other day i walked in on my grandmother sucking my grandfather's dick. I just find it weird why it wasn't cremated with the rest of him."