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Joke of the Day

"1. Secretly take a bunch of pictures of someone you see everyday but barely know 2. Friend request them on FB 3. Tag them in 238 photos"

"I bought an air filtration system on black friday It's already collecting dust in the basement."

"If you say ""I don't feel good"" and a pregnant woman says ""Me neither,"" DO NOT respond with ""Yeah, but you chose this for yourself..."""

"I just tinder matched with a block of cheese."

"What do a 14 year old and an open bucket of bleach have in common? For twenty bucks either'll take care of your toddler. -&y (yup, mine)"

"How can you spot a racist in a crowd? They're the ones shouting ""Black Lives Matter!"""

"So UBER is not a dating app? *sigh* I kinda thought all those 'Goodbye' kisses seemed more awkward than usual."

"Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks."

"Guys, I just found a BUNCH of Mohicans!"

"Her: I'm sorry my baby keeps crying. He's got teeth coming in. Me: Well, don't worry, I'll sign for them..."