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Joke of the Day

"I walked out of a club with a girl last night. She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my cock and said, ""Yours or mine?"" I said, ""That's mine."""

"This year I'm releasing a Christmas record called Duvet Know it's Christmas? It's a cover version."

"Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway."

"{Text} Me: Come home soon baby, I'm dressed like Leia.. Him: So turned on, I am.. Me: If you show up dressed like Yoda it's not happening"

"I try not to spend too much time online... ...but Wi-Fight it?"

"I haven't slept for 10 days.... ...because that would be too long. - Mitch Hedberg"

"Do you play volleyball? Because you look like your good on ur knees!"

"I consider myself to be... a reflexive pronoun."

"Pedophiles may be bad people... ... but at least they drive slow through the school zones"

"What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country"